Halloween Pumpkins Stand Guard Against Wild Marauders
Halloween’s over and now garish pumpkins stand sentinel over Marion’s precious garbage. Yet nothing, not even these ghoulish masks, seems to dissuade roving gangs of wild turkeys from invading our gentle town.
Wild Turkey Gang Rumbles through Marion Suburbs
Toms and Hens; Jets and Sharks; they stormed through quiet side streets of Marion’s upscale “Village.” Where else in America are trash cans decorated with pagan totems for Monday pickup?
Rival Turkey Gangs Clash
Feathers ruffled as rival rafters crossed paths in the middle of the road. You can almost hear the driving rhythm of Bernstein’s West Side Story echoing in the autumn leaves.
 Turkeys Distracted
Then, as quickly as it flared, the clash subsided when turkeys caught the whiff of oily pumpkin seeds. Toms and Hens clucked and cackled in ululating unison, building bird-brained courage to assault another totem guarded treasure can. Turtle Journal asks, “Can Thanksgiving come too soon to rescue our gentrified towns from the horror of rampaging gangs of wild turkeys? Bring in your garbage, suburbia; the turkeys are coming!”